Legit my only wish is not to die alone. But, unsurprisingly, it's difficult to find someone who will watch you kill yourself. All I want is for someone to hold my hand while I go. I know I can't do that to anyone. It just seems so unfair. Everyone else gets to die surrounded by their friends and family. If it was any organ besides my brain that was killing me, I wouldn't have to do it alone. But since it is in my brain, because they can't see it, because they don't feel it, they won't let me go. They still think it is my choice. What they don't understand is I don't decide why, or how, or to get better. The only thing I have control over is when, and doing it now would be kinder for everyone. You let your dog go when he's sick. Why don't you understand that it's cruel to make me stay, too?
When Nanny's Heart Breaks: Loving Kids Not Your Own
There's a saying that often gets written on crafts and cards in the nanny groups on Facebook: "You may hold my hand for a while, but you will hold my heart forever." That may sound sweet, but it's painfully true, and it hurts like a sonofabitch. As a nanny, you know that every position ends, but some transitions are more painful than others. The best outcome you can hope for is that the kids get older and the parents simply don't need you anymore. Then they give you good references, say you can come by any time, and you keep in touch enough to see your kiddos grow up happy and healthy. Worst-case scenario would be something like, say, you're a live-in nanny for a stay-at-home mom who also happens to be an addict who emotionally abuses and manipulates you, and after taking it for a year you give your two weeks notice in a professional manner, get convinced to stay longer because you love the children, request that your boss not take your only battery-o...
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