One Down, 35 to Go



Yesterday I had my first TMS treatment (see previous post).  The whole day was filled with lots of anxiety.  I gave myself an hour to drive what my GPS told me would take 45 minutes, had a panic attack about crossing a toll bridge because I didn't have cash (turns out they take a photo of your car and bill you, the future is amazing), got lost in downtown Seattle, and finally arrived in the parking garage less than 10 minutes before my appointment, for which I was supposed to be 15-20 minutes early.  You sign in on a little electronic keypad and sit in the waiting room to fill out a questionnaire, which asks you to rate different depression symptoms on severity and frequency over the past two weeks.  During this time, the woman sitting across from me informed me that the government was controlling me and it was too bad that I didn't have a choice, and an elderly man who was a very loud mouth-breather sat uncomfortably close to me.

After I finished my paperwork, I was called back to my room.  My tech, Rachel, was super awesome and explained everything that was happening.  I got fitted with a cap, which basically just looks like you're wearing a pair of underwear on your head.  Then Rachel and another tech took a bunch of measurements.  A psychiatrist, a different one from my intake appointment but who was also very nice, came in to determine at what level the machine should be set to be effective.  To do this, he placed the magnetic coil on a specific part of my skull and adjusted the strength of the pulses while watching my fingers.  Once they found the lowest strength that would make my ring finger twitch, that was established as the beginning threshold.

Rachel was my homegirl during the rest of the treatment.  I'm having bilateral treatment, because one side of the brain is more effective for depression and the other for PTSD/anxiety diagnoses, which I also have.  Each side took about 15 minutes.  You are given ear protection and the magnet device is applied to the specified area.  I was told that many people describe the sensation as feeling like a woodpecker is tapping on their head, but that wasn't my experience.  The machine taps for about 30 seconds, pauses for about 5 seconds, and then starts again.  To me, every tap felt like a mini-migraine that stopped as soon as the clicking stopped.  Also, when the device was too close to the front of my head, it made my eyes and mouth twitch :P It wasn't painful beyond being bearable but it was a lot more uncomfortable than I anticipated.


(Me with my TMS device on and my thunder buddy Barnaby, a gift from my shrink.)

When I was finished I had a moderate headache, cried because my GPS crapped out and I got trapped in downtown Seattle for a half hour, and then I got home and slept for four hours.  And that is the story of TMS #1.

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